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Everything is the same. Even though I am sitting at a different desk this summer, familiar faces meet me in the coffee area, walking by on the way to meetings, in the printer room, in the elevator. “I recognize you from last summer,” they say, “welcome back!” It’s like I never left. I’ve slipped right back into the same routine with the same job in the same city, exactly the same as last summer.


The bustle in the train station is also the same, though the throngs of people weaving between platforms never cease to amaze me. Where are they all going! Where did they come from! Of course, I’m sure their destinations are no more glamorous than mine around 5:30 pm on a work day, but the magic is in the mystery. Everyone sharing the American life: commute, 9-5, commute, start over.


One thing that is not the same: The Boston Celtics! Fortunately, my office is a ten minute walk from yesterday’s parade route, and I stole away for twenty minutes yesterday to participate in the celebration of the much coveted NBA championship. Surrounded by fans decked out in basketball jerseys and smoking cigars, fluttering green and white confetti, and the euphoric ambiance of any Boston championship parade, it was impossible not to get caught up in the excitement. I cheered and clapped as basketball players and their families cruised by on Duck tour vehicles, despite the fact that I honestly didn’t recognize a single one (I have never been one for watching sports…). This is the Boston I’ve known: sports obsessed to a manic degree, full of every accent known to man in one neighborhood or another, horns honking, birds chirping, and unending road construction projects all the livelong day. Did I miss it, or did I miss understanding it?


I feel as though something should have changed! To leave is so jarring, but to come back and acknowledge that everyone and everything I see hasn’t changed a bit is equally unsettling. Of course I knew this was coming; it’s like graduating high school and being surprised that the school doesn’t shut down because you’re not there anymore. Not really surprised, just a poignant reaffirmation that I am one of many, remembering that my life changing event is exactly that – an event that changes my life only.


Being with my family and friends here at home has been amazing. I missed them in a way I didn’t know I could, having been away for five and a half months. I missed the easy comfort of watching tv with my sisters and the support of my parents’ presence. We’re all off to our separate places and plans this summer; every year our time together is more fleeting. I wonder why the fact that Boston is the same as ever is so strange to me, and yet the unchanged family routine I’ve come back to is so comforting. A week before I came home, my mom told me that we’d gotten a pet dog named Milty. I didn’t believe her one bit, since a fake pet dog is definitely her type of joke. But, when she held the phone up, I could hear barking and panting with Marielle cooing “Milty” somewhere in the background. I couldn’t believe it, how could they get a dog without me! Without even mentioning it!


When I got home, we sat in my room, surrounding our new family member, watching her expectantly as though she were about to do a back flip or start speaking English. Due to my jetlag, the next morning I was up at 6 and took her for a stroll around the neighborhood, which almost prematurely concluded when she tried to charge the newspaper delivery guy. I noticed her leash was looking a little raggedy and wondered why (what I assumed to be) a brand new leash would already be fraying.


After a few more clues in the form of slips by Marielle and my dad, I uncovered the truth: we were dog sitting for our family friends’ dog, Nala. Don’t ask me why I didn’t recognize her. Part of me was disappointed, for in the day and a half that I knew her as Milty, Nala and I had gotten along well, and I was also peeved that I fell for one of my mom’s pranks once again. But part of me was relieved that my family had not, ultimately, adopted a new member without so much as an email of notification.


I guess change is a volatile phenomenon; it’s confusing when it rears its head and equally perplexing when it’s nowhere to be found. Either way, it makes me question the present: Am I sure I even left Boston for half a year? Do those people an ocean away really exist? A year from today, will I be half wondering the same things about my reality right now?


So. If you’re wondering, yes, it’s great to be home, and yes, I had a wonderful experience, yes, I missed it here, yes, I miss it there, yes, I will go back some day, but no, I don’t know when or why.


Thanks for reading. I might keep writing here, since it’s somewhat therapeutic and fun for me to read over. Plus, the blog site is not (yet) blocked at work. But I got e-marcus.net, our family web space, blocked last summer by checking it too often after I forwarded my Gmail account over there, so I won’t be too optimistic. Fortunately, I’ve found a way around that this summer (crossing my fingers), so be in touch!


Love,
Ilana